Tag: adhd

Untamed Brains (ADHD)

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Untamed Brains (ADHD) 

That’s a term I got from my cool, wise kids!! It just popped into our conversation, and I love it. I love it in all the ways – it speaks to me about creativity and dream work and many more things. In fact, I love it in so many ways, I’m going to start a new tag for it, because I see now that it’s going to come up a lot. Today, I specifically love it in the way that ADHD can be a GIFT, not a diagnosis. 

Now look, ADHD is not always a gift. It’s not mostly a gift. Not in this world. It can be a hot disaster, and I don’t want to diminish that experience AT ALL. It does require accommodation. It is exhausting. It’s not a “superpower,” despite some of the messaging that’s popular now, at least not all the time. (My kids also recently engaged me in an insanely well-thought-out discussion about how all superpowers seem to also be or have super-weaknesses, at least if they’re real. Like how if you can turn invisible, you should also be blind, because your retinal cells wouldn’t have the capacity to register the light because the light would be passing through them. Yes, My kids are 11 and 9.)

Ok, back on track! Once the “weakness” part ahs been managed – and YES, that’s necessary and it might also be an ongoing thing forever – and people have learned how to place themselves in environments where they can thrive and strategies to help them do so… 

Examples of some ADHD “traits” that can be a little magical (in general, or in the right light!) include (Sedgwick et al., 2019):

  • Cognitive dynamism (divergent thinking, hyperfocus, “flow,” inquisitiveness, creativity, curiosity, originality, ingenuity)
  • Courage (non-conforming, adventurousness, bravery, integrity, persistence, spontaneity, staying an indvidual)
  • Energy (“spirit,” psychological energy, physical energy, “drive”)
  • Humanity (social intelligence, humor, self acceptance, recognition of feelings)
  • Resilience (self regulation, flexibility, adaptability, sublimation/reframing of “weaknesses” into strengths)
  • Transcendence (appreciation of beauty and excellence, awe, wonder)

Personally, a supervisor once enlightened me… those “tangential thoughts” that come up in therapy sometimes – they might be tangents, and they might initially seem TOTALLY unrelated to what’s going on with the client at that moment, but give them a chance sometimes. Even if your brain is running a little faster or a little more “untamed” than the client’s, that doesn’t mean it’s actually random. You still have neurological networks, you know. So, see what comes up – it might surprise you with just how relevant it is.  (You know, and also don’t run amok with a session, please!) 

Side note, and this is not on the “untamed” side, but people who grow up with and have to learn to manage ADHD also wind up with a lot of awesome gifts from that process and struggle. Not everyone develops the same ones, but incredible perseverance, realistic self compassion, and whole host of organizational and self management skills are typical!

Comment below: Any therapists with ADHD out there? Has it ever been helpful?

 

 

 

Sedgwick, J. A., Merwood, A., & Asherson, P. (2019). The positive aspects of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: a qualitative investigation of successful adults with ADHD. Atten Defic Hyperact Disord, 11(3), 241-253. doi: 10.1007/s12402-018-0277-6.

 

 

 

Great Books Volume 4: Books for Certain Clients

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Great Books Volume 4: Books for Certain Clients

This is a list of books that are definitely accessible to clients/laypersons, but I don’t think they’re right for just anyone. 

 

  • Barkley’s ADHD books
    • These book are filled with great behaviorally-based strategies. Only give them to conscientious clients who actually do their homework, though. (Note: This is sometimes harder to find in families with AD/HD!) If the strategies aren’t implemented well and consistently, clients will only get frustrated. You might consider a self-compassion kind of strategy if you think that might happen.
  • The Gifts of Imperfection (Brene Brown)
    • For myself, I find Brown a bit saccharine. However, there’s definitely a population of clients for whom her writing is needed and timely. Especially, it’s useful for those clients who have a very strong inner critic and who have a tendency to over-extend themselves on behalf of others. She seems to speak especially well to women. (Of note, this might be a good option for supplementing that self-compassion strategy mentioned above)
  • Come As You Are (Emily Nagoski)
    • This is, hands down, my absolute favorite book about sex, ever. Nagoski is hard science with a delightful and relational writing voice. Every client (individual and couple) I’ve ever offered this book to has had a good experience and gotten something from it. It’s incredibly validating and normalizing, and gives couples great language for talking about the dual-control model of sexuality. Really great in terms of diversity of sexual normalcy without being overwhelming, even for conservative clients.
  • Authentic Happiness (Martin Seligman)
    • I honestly didn’t like this book (or the one that came after it, about PERMA). Though I love strengths-based counseling, Seligman isn’t my kind of writer, and is a bit surface for me. BUT… this is a great book for some clients – when you want to use a strengths based approach with clients who like to do their own “research” (i.e., who tend to find too much awful stuff on google!) or those who have limited time/money to come into the office, this is a great book to give them a shared vocabulary to use with you. I’ve also found it can be really useful in couples’ work, when clients need help identifying and being aware of partners’ strengths, and for setting them on an upward trajectory, focused less on problems.
  • Twelve Rules for Life (Jordan Peterson)
    • Peterson is a controversial character, I admit. I think that’s more because he speaks in a brash and provocative, uncompromising way. But he has some good science behind him, and in it, clinical wisdom. He has a very strong grounding in Jungian psychology. His book speaks in an accessible way to the existential concepts of meaning, purpose, freedom, and responsibility. I think the reputation he has for speaking most eloquently into the lives of men (esp young men) is deserved. But the message isn’t only useful for young adult male clients. I’ve had a lot of clients enjoy and have success with this book, especially around issues of depression and demoralization.

 

Comment if you have other books to share that you’ve (1) read yourself, (2) recommended to clients, and (3) had good experiences with!