Tag: encouragement

Preposterous Quote – Pain Quitting

EllisLeave a comment

 

Hmmm… no. Pain isn’t always temporary. Pain is often chronic, especially when we overuse our bodies in a relentless pursuit of unhealthy goals. Or when we don’t recognize and honor legitimate limitations. Or when we don’t respect the need for rest or a healing process after injury. 

Also, why would we think that quitting lasts forever? That’s such a genuinely peculiar assumption. What about going back to something you previously quit? Especially after you are well rested or better conditioned or more equipped? Also, I’m not sure it counts as “quitting” when you mindfully stop something and choose a different path? 

I’m noticing that a fair percentage of the preposterous quotes I run across have this mad (hyper-American?) theme … do more, push through, no quitting, be everything, don’t suck! I don’t like it. 

Comment below with some healthy language for encouragement to challenge oneself! 

 

 

 

Affirmations

EllisLeave a comment

Affirmations

I won’t date myself by referencing the Saturday Night Live skit… well, what the hell, sure I will. It’s too classic. “I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone it, people like me.” Ah, thanks, Stuart Smalley.

Let’s talk about positive affirmations, and how to do them well.

    • Make them short and punchy. Your inner critic tends to have the vocabulary of a 6th grade bully, if you’re lucky. Your inner yoda/inner therapist/inner big sister/etc. can’t compete with that neurologically if it takes you a paragraph to say something meaningful and kind about yourself.
    • Make them accurate and defensible. No rainbows, ponies, or bullshit. Do the work of figuring out what the good things about you actually are. Make sure you have evidence, even though you won’t go through it every time (see #1). Along these same lines, don’t predict the future. Definitely replace the pop-psyc “affirmations” like “Everything will work out for me” and “I am a winner”!
    • Include your agency. There are many things you can do that you don’t do all the time. This is really helpful when you feel as though you’ve run out of the “I am ________” variety. Consider things like “I can make healthy choices” or “I’m able to hear my inner wisdom when I give myself the chance.”
    • Format them positively. This one you probably know – an affirmation should contain only positive language. This means that “I am attractive” works better than “I’m not ugly.” We want to avoid “lighting up” the parts of the brain that compete with the messaging we want to strengthen. “I’m not ugly” lights up the “ugly” networks, whether we want it to or not. So be careful with phrases like “I’m not…” or “I won’t…” or “I don’t have to…” or “I will stop…” etc. (While you’re at it, avoid language like “should” and “ought”!)
    • Check your language. Affirmations work best when they are something that becomes automatic and unconscious with exposure. So, it’s important to treat your language as carefully as hypnotic language – watch out for metaphors, descriptors, and turns of phrase that your unconscious mind may process concretely rather than abstractly (“I am a diamond; it’s time for me to shine” may bring up different associations subconsciously like hardness and impenetrability), or partially based on phrasing (“It’s easy for me to tune out the negative” can become “It’s easy for me to tune out”). This also mean things like not using the word “try” (because it implies failure at the concrete level) and words with more than one meaning like “stunning” or “pretty”. Also, be mindful of homonyms (word that sound the same) – like “a lot” (allot), peace (piece), know (no), etc. (Or even nearly the same, especially if you’re recording affirmations for a client – be mindful of your vocal differences!)

 

Bonus idea: When you’re recording the affirmations for clients, say each one out loud, and then pace yourself by saying it again in your head before you move on to the next one – this gives them time to repeat each one silently or aloud,  in their own voice.    

Comment below: Do you have any great examples of your favorite affirmations to share?