Tag: Gendlin

Online Resources Vol 5

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Online Resources Vol 5

 

Of course, if you haven’t seen Volumes 1, 2, 3, or 4, check them out!

 

  • An online intro psyc textbook – fun reading for therapists to catch up on new developments in the basic areas (the knowledge half life of psyc (apparently about 7 years) is getting shorter all the time!). Good for helping savvy or “book smart” clients who feel empowered with more knowledge. 
  • A good written resource for Autogenic Training produced by the VA. I can’t ever find a good YouTube version – they’re all so “meditative” and awash with harps and binaural beats and stuff. My experience has been that people who want to do autogenic training want that because meditation feels too “woo woo” for them and they consider themselves to be practical, no-nonsense folks. I was going to make one, and I might still, but this is not a bad substitute for now. 
  • Here’s a great little workbook a colleague of mine found (Thanks, Sana!), and it references Gendlin’s Focusing as a primary tool in emotional work! It’s written more like a flowy graphic novel, or kind of like a series of infographics – easy to read! 
  • This is just super fun, and I can imagine it having therapy homework possibilities, too. Make mandalas!  
  • A resource for clients (and maybe clinicians, depending on how much this was a part of your training!) in reading scientific studies when you’re not a professional scientist! 
  • I have a sad update on the Reveri App (mentioned in Volume 4) – it’s no longer free. It’s now subscription-based. And it’s still worth it. I will tell you, though, if you have clients who can’t afford it, and they write to the Reveri folks, they’ll usually still offer a free year! 

Comment below and add any free online resources or apps that you use! 

 

 

 

 

 

Avoidance Sucks

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Avoidance Sucks

Here’s what I mean by that: 

  • Avoidance of feared stimuli increases rather than decreases fear. So it perpetuates itself at your expense. This is approximately 35% of all therapy, possibly. 
  • Avoidance is painful by itself. Every time you avoid, you’re having a measure of the pain you would have in confronting. But you avoid it over and over and over… so you have a partial measure of pain over and over and over, which almost always ends up being more painful over time. 
  • Avoidance narrows your options. I mean this in small ways, but also in the very big, existential way – like the “untimely deadness of a too narrow existence” 

Some caveats, in case you’re thinking any of these things:

  • Staying away from genuinely toxic or dangerous things/people/situations isn’t avoidance, it’s wisdom. 
  • If you believe you benefit from a “change of scenery,” you need to give a good think about if it’s escaping/avoidance or something else. A lot of that is how you use that time. If you just get away from stressors and enjoy that, it’s avoidance. If you use the time away to actively work on stuff that will improve your life when you’re back, ok. 

Comment below: How have clients sometimes gotten in trouble by avoiding? How have you?? 

 

 

 

Preposterous Quote – Courage

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There are two levels on which I want to address this preposterous quote. 

(1) I dislike, in general, inaccurate measurements. Specifically, in therapy, I dislike the idea that our own limits are not knowable. I believe that’s part of what is fundamentally useful about therapy – building accurate self knowledge and self awareness!

Look, I don’t want clients to live in a constant state of not-fulfilling-their-potential because they underestimate themselves. I don’t want them to reduce themselves to chronic-victimhood because they aren’t encouraged. I don’t want them to choose avoidance as a proxy for safety, when they could choose skills and strength instead. I don’t want them to suffer from the “untimely deadness of a too narrow existence” (Gendlin, 1973).  

I also don’t want clients to be shamed or feel shame because they actually do have limits. I want us all to know and honor the limits of our bodies, our strength, our coping. That’s when we know to access additional resources! That’s how we keep ourselves functioning for tomorrow’s challenges! 

When you’re drowning, yes…. you do usually have more oxygen available than you’re afraid you have. And use it all, please! You do usually have another half hour in you to work on that project that’s due, even though you’re really tired.  You probably do have a little more self control left over to speak kindly to your partner even though you’re stressed out from your work day. You probably do have more strength than you are afraid you have, more than you initially believe you’re capable of.

Let’s learn our REAL limits, so we can grow at our true edges. 

(2) I don’t mind the definitions of courage than rely on fear (“It’s not brave if you’re not scared”), but I really prefer the deeply existential understanding of courage – that you willingly act without knowing the outcome. And we never really know the outcome! We pretend we know the outcome, we relax into that lie sometimes, but we don’t ever really know how anything is going to turn out – our action or our inaction. That makes pretty much everything you do “courageous,” if you’re doing it willingly and acting in “good faith” (i.e., with knowledge of your own personal responsibility in living). 

 

 

Comment below: As always… your thoughts? Your definition of courage? 

Great Books Volume 3: Divergent Classics

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Great Books Volume 3: Divergent Classics

Here’s a list of books that are well worth reading, written by fathers/mothers in the field, but that are a bit more specific (not quite so much emphasis on “how therapy works as a whole”). These tend to be a bit newer, and a bit shorter, if that has been something that’s kept you from reading along so far! You’ll see some of our favorite authors return on this list, as well…

 

  • Man’s Search for Meaning (Viktor Frankl)
    • Short and incredibly powerful. More personally beneficial than clinically useful, which is why Doctor and the Soul made the first list
  • Love is Never Enough (Aaron Beck)
    • Although this is about working with couples, it’s a good cognitive therapy text without having to read Cognitive Therapy for Depression (although that’s a good one, too). Prisoners of Hate is also awesome!
  • Sex Without Guilt (Albert Ellis)
    • Sure, there are plenty of resources to learn REBT, but why read them when you can learn it while listening to Ellis pontificate about sex five decades ago?! (There’s also an updated version which is shockingly similar to the first edition!)
  • Let Your Body Interpret Your Dreams (Eugene Gendlin)
    • Hands down, the best dream interpretation book I’ve ever read, and it also really exemplifies the down-to-the-ground humanistic, phenomenologically-oriented theory of therapy
  • Emotional Awareness (Dalai Lama and Paul Ekman)
    • A brilliant, easy-to-read dialogue that covers the basics of universal emotional experience and gives insight into the real Buddhist tradition that the West has marred
  • Behind the One Way Mirror (Cloe Madanes)
    • If you were interested in Jay Haley’s Strategies of Psychotherapy, you’ll like this case-study rich exploration of strategic family therapy
  • The Family Crucible (Carl Whitaker and Augustus Napier)
    • This would be a treatise on systems-oriented family therapy if it were a huge, boring tome. Instead it’s a lively narrative that follows one family’s journey. You may end up with more questions than answers, but that’s ok!
  • Waking The Tiger (Peter Levine)
    • The book that effectively birthed Somatic Experiencing and other body-focused trauma therapies. This is readable on a client level, but still has a good science background. May change the way you see the whole mind-body connection, not just with trauma.
  • Flow (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi)
    • Really useful for those clients who needs more of a coaching or consultation style, or who have any kind of performance concern (professional, athletic, even relational). Very clear concept, well elaborated, easy to incorporate into your own life and into therapy
  • Gifts Differing (Isabel Briggs-Myers)
    • Great secondary text on Jung’s personality theory and great primary text on MBTI. So much more depth than what you learned in your assessment class, and it’ll give you useful constructs to work with, even if you don’t care for the actual instrument.
  • The Schopenhauer Cure (Irvin Yalom)
    • Existential classic in a very readable narrative form. Also, lots of good stuff about group therapy, all demonstrated rather than explained.
  • On Encounter Groups (Carl Rogers)
    • THE book on process groups. It’s brief and, if you’re a highlighter, prepare for more yellow than white – it’s so rich!

 

I really don’t mean to fill your bookshelves and/or drain your wallet. It’s just that they’re all SO GOOD. Comment below if you’ve read one of these and you want to recommend it for people to begin first! 

 

 

 

 

Focusing – Gendlin

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Focusing

Recently, we talked about the 7+/-2 principle of working memory and how the brain is a pinball machine. We went on to talk about how therapy work like journaling and PCT can be effective, and how to maximize the 7 +/-2 principle in our work with clients. Which is great! And now, I want to see about taking things to a whole new dimension…

You can only THINK ABOUT  7+/-2 things at a time. Even when we’re maximizing that, clients can only experience a few of the multiple parts (e.g., thoughts, feelings, sensations) of any given situation in sequence. But you can SENSE the whole thing at once, if you allow yourself to do that and don’t rush to get ahead of yourself with words. This is called the felt sense. The felt sense (Gendlin, 1978) is different from feelings, emotions, thoughts, or regular body sensations. It is the fuzzy, unclear “gestalt” of awareness.

The felt edge is the next step that follows completely naturally from the complete felt sense and leads in the direction of more life in the body. Every natural experience has a natural next step, and only that next step will REALLY satisfy.

Hunger → eating; Arousal → orgasm; Grief → tears; Curiosity → exploration

What options do you have when you are thirsty?

Exercise? Reading a book? Vodka? Pineapple? Water? Gatorade? (Infinite options!) But which one is the one to which your thirst is leading? The BODY KNOWS.

The felt edge is like standing in patient readiness, without tension, observing all of the possible next steps and getting the sense of what feels like more life in the body.

Focusing  is the process by which we can experience the felt sense of any given problem or situation – the whole of it, at once –  and thus, approach the felt edge where we are most likely to have an awareness of the most right next movement.

The Six Steps of Focusing

  • Clearing a Space – Asking yourself: What is the main thing for me right now? Sense it, but don’t go inside
  • Felt Sense – Experience (“Feel”) the many parts of whatever it is, all together. Get a sense of what all of the problem feels like.
  • Handle – Give a name, phrase, or image to the quality of the whole felt sense.
  • Resonating – Gently go back and forth between the felt sense and the handle, patiently ensuring that you have just the right fit.
  • Asking – “What makes the problem so _____?” “What is ___ in this?” Be sure you are sensing freshly (not remembering!) the felt sense. If you get a quick answer, without feeling it in the body, let that go and stay with it.
  • Receiving – Be open, in a friendly way, to any shift in the body. This will be accompanied by some change in the whole of the problem. Accept that change gently.

 

If you want to learn more about this, you’ve absolutely got to read Focusing (Gendlin, 1978). It’ll change your life, your therapy, and your clients’ lives… guaranteed. And if you think you can’t learn something so experiential from a book…try it anyway. Focusing is all about tuning in to your own experience anyway; Gendlin’s voice through his writing may be all you need for direction.

 

Tons of other free resources and readings of Gendlin’s and The Focusing Institute here. 

Gendlin, E.T. (1978). Focusing (first edition). Everest House.

 

 

Comment below if you use Focusing in session, or if this is your first exposure!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Great Books Volume 1: Indispensable Psychotherapy Classics

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Great Books Volume 1: Indispensable Psychotherapy Classics

By far and away, one of the most common questions I get from students and supervisees is “what should I read to learn more about xyz?” Great question! And I love answering it, as well as teaching how to identify a good source (maybe that’s a good idea for a later post!).

I love to read books in the field, and I especially love to read the founding fathers and mothers of psychology and psychotherapy. I think this might come from having my own learning influences that emphasized primary source material, and also definitely from teaching Theories of Counseling and Psychotherapy. Textbooks never do justice to the real authors.

Definitely, in some later posts, I’ll talk some about specific books in more detail. Here, I’d like to give you a list of what I think are the best primary source books for psychotherapists. I’m defining “best” here as a combination of most foundational and most useful (so you’ll notice that Freud doesn’t make the list, even though he’s FREUD. And other favorites like William James’ Principles of Psychology. Sigh. Another day.) I’m also going to (painfully) limit myself to one per author.

 

  • On Becoming a Person (Carl Rogers)
  • What Life Could Mean to You (Alfred Adler)
  • The Undiscovered Self: The Individual in Modern Society (Carl Jung)
  • Your Many Faces (Virginia Satir)
  • The Gestalt Approach and Eye Witness to Therapy (Fritz Perls)
  • Focusing (Eugene Gendlin)
  • I’m OK, You’re OK (Thomas Harris)
  • Warning: Psychiatry Could Be Hazardous to Your Mental Health (William Glasser)
  • Strategies of Psychotherapy (Jay Haley)
  • The Doctor and The Soul (Viktor Frankl)
  • Life Without Fear (Joseph Wolpe)

 

Ok, I can already tell that future lists are imminent! There are SO many books that I’m having trouble not listing! But start with these. You’ll be glad you did!

Comment below and let me know the book you think I missed!